I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
everyone is single if you try hard enough
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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