Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
