People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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