So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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