Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
