i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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