she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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