Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
