Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize