Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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