I wish I could punch you in the face.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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