I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
