i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
