i think my mom watched the whole time
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
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and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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