I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
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Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
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