Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
