would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
