I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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