i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.