; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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