This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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