please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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