I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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