I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
