Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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