u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
