And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
