I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
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He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
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and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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