LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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