Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
