Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
