ugly people sure do ruin things
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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