chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i just made my gag reflex go away.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
This house was built for laser tag.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
