Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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