You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
