I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
