Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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