Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
