no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
