Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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