I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
