I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
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