I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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