Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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