their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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