Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
