remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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