alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
