fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
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