Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
