all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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