Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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