We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize