Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Randomize
