There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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