Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize