Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
